Leader as Gratitude Teacher
You simply will not be the same person two months from now after consciously giving thanks each day for the abundance that exists in your life. And you will have set in motion an ancient spiritual law: the more you have and are grateful for, the more will be given you. Sarah Ban Breathnach
When I was given the opportunity to provide a Tedx talk in 2012, I wanted to tell the worldeverything I knew about transforming conflict. There was this technique, and that one, and, oh my, I must tell you about elemental conflict styles! It didn’t take long to realize that with less than a quarter of an hour, I could only share one skill. If these were my lifetime 13 minutes of fame, what did I need to tell the world?
It was quickly clear what I needed to share — I had to discuss gratitude. Simply put, when conflict, or really anything, comes…be grateful.
Watching the included video, you’ll realize that gratitude is a prescribed behavior by both the spiritual traditions and by brain science, but why do I return to it today? Not only we just celebrated Thanksgiving in the United States, but also a recent conversation with a favorite client that reminded me how leadership demands not only us providing consistent gratitude, but teaching its importance.
Entitlement is not a favored attribute within our culture, nor in many of the cultures with whom I get to work. Yet, it seems to be a learned behavior. Be it through upbringing, cultural context, or as a survival skill that got us to demand basic rights, we all have a bit of entitlement within us, and that’s all right in my book. We need to self advocate at times. There are moments when I need to demand what is mine, especially when it comes to basic human rights.
On the other hand, too much entitlement doesn’t serve anyone involved. It sends us into an attitude of scarcity and criticism. We can miss the hidden opportunities in what we didn’t choose. Also, those who are being generous on our behalf miss our acknowledgment, and may wonder why this generosity is deserved.
If I didn’t learn the power and importance of gratitude as a young person, I may need your mentoring as one who understands its value. You may mentor by modeling sincere gratitude and acknowledgment. It may be adding appreciation to your organization’s code of conduct. Working on US State Department programs where we are asking community volunteers to host international visitors, our team has begun sharing the importance of gratitude in US culture during each program orientation. Gratitude has thus become a core leadership skill I now teach after I learned that not everyone was parented as I was to give thanks for every ride I was given home whether it was another mother or my own.